Forgive me, blogosphere, for I have sinned...

It has been nine months since my last post.What happened, you may ask?

Life.

Sharing it with my darling daughter (be it camping, swimming, reading, napping). Welcoming  one into our clan. Trying to figure out how to have one while taking care of that of others.

I think I've done a good job on the first two, but my performance on the last and most important one--how to find balance and joy in the crazy world of stay-at-home motherhood with two young un's has been a struggle, and that's putting it lightly at times. And while I love my children and the family I have beyond words, I am beginning to feel like I am starting to lose myself in the mix.

It started out of necessity--hard to have dinner with my husband and daughter when I have an infant clamoring to be fed now. My days were broken up into my waking hours (those when my daughter was awake) to my semi-waking hours (those when my daughter was asleep and when I wished my son would be). And the more run-down I became, the more difficult everything in life began to seem. There wasn't enough time to get the clothes put up, to wash the dishes, to make healthy food, to eat, to be goofy with my kids, to have adult talk with my husband, to go out with my friends, to shower. And if I couldn't do these basic things, I thought, what right do I have to do something extra, something just for me?
 
But no more. My kids need a happy, healthy mommy, one who knows how to keep her emotions in check. They need someone who is happy even when there are speed bumps and piles of laundry that need to be washed/folded/put away. And I need to be that someone. I need to take back some of my life for just me, so that I can be a better mother.

Last year, I took time for myself and lost myself (or nearly 50 pounds of myself), and I don't think I had ever felt better. I loved learning about nutrition and fixing fresh, local, organic, and healthy meals for my family. I truly discovered my love of cooking.

And while my time is precious now, we still have to eat. And I'd rather eat well, keep my family healthy, and lose all this darn baby weight. So cook I will. And hopefully, in between the dicing, slicing, stir-frying, and roasting, I can rediscover the mommy and wife and person that I am.

This blog, at least in the short term, is dedicated to this journey.